Well where do I start? Life's a ****. First. Wanna talk about hard work. Try this. When I was 13, I began working at a water park up in New York, Splish Splash. That summer, my stepfather lost his job, so my mother said it was my responsibility to contribute to the household. I had to give her my paycheck every week like I was working for nothing. Working full time and going to school. It was rediculous. I had to pay half the bills in the house. Until now, I'm 19 and I have to carry the weight of living expenses on my own.

Second. It's hard when your existance wasn't planned. My dad used 2 condoms and my mother was on birth control and I'm still here. I guess that means I'm alive for a reason. However, it was not of my fathers doing. He wasn't ready for a child and made my mother choose between the two of us, and obviously I'm still here. My stepfather came into the picture and married my mother. But It's hard growing up knowing you weren't wanted by your own father. He upped and ditched us when I was 4. I have no memory of him. He passed away when I was 15.

As for my mother. I was born 3 months premature because my parents were addicts. Pills, Marijuana, Cocaine and Heroine. You name it, they were on it. I have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyper Active Disorder), ODD (Opositional Defiant Disorder) and Psychopathic Tendencies (Havent Figured This One Out) and I was born 3 months premature. The doctors said I was going to die at birth. There was no way I could survive and if I did, then I'd have Down Syndrom. But look at me now. I am fine. So I'm the reprocussion of drug addicts and safe sex.

Now I am age 20. I do not have my high school diploma. My mother and stepfather went their separate ways when I was 17. Didn't divorce though. My mother transfered her job to Florida. So I moved away from New York to be with her. Upon moving and other issues I failed my senior year in high school. I went for a 2nd time around. Halfway through the year, my mother came down with cancer. I dropped out of school cause she had 2 surgeries, 1 during Thanksgiving and the other during Christmas. January came around and we weren't seeing eye to eye. The cancer was driving her mad. So i moved out to prevent any more stress. If you know anything about cancer, stress is the worst thing for it. Now I told my mother to retire. She didn't listen. The cancer went into remission. She went back to work for 4 months.

Now I had no job, dropped out of school, had no money and no roof over my head. I had to take it to the streets. For 2 1/2 months I slept on the beach and showered on the beach. Until I found a job. Started makin money and paid someone for a place to sleep at night and shower. I enrolled in college to get my high school diploma. All this around March or April of 07. Things were going perfect...until I get the call. My mother had went back to work, the stress built up and the cancer came back. They gave her 8 weeks to live.

I dropped out of college and got fired from work and moved back in to do what I could for her. She knew she didn't have long. We flew to New York so she could say goodbye to the family. When we flew back down, it was horrifying. Her condition went over the cliff. It's like she lost the will to live. The cancer was taking over her body. For 8 days straight I think I had about 3 hours of sleep. I had to stay up and make sure she took her medication. But things were getting worse. She was screaming yelling and crying most of those 8 days. It was frightening and haunting. I had her put into Hospice, where they put her on a morphine IV. The next day, my stepfather flew down to see her, and it was rough on the both of us. We stayed by her side for 2 hours. We went home...then 15 minutes later we got the call, my mother had passed away. We both broke down for like an hour just crying and holding each other. My mothers body was cremated and we put her ashes in the ocean, in Port Orange, FL near the Dunlawton Bridge.

Furthermore, I wasn't the best child to my mother growing up. I put her and my stepfather through hell as a teenager. But before she died, we came to terms or forgivness and reached a common ground. So she passed away with neither of us having any regrets. Because I gave up 2 years of my life to be with her, I was there when she needed me the most. I have not 1 regret.

So, I am left to fend for myself. I am 20 and both my parents are dead. I have never felt so alone in my life. But my friends are my family now. I have to get my life on track. Music is my only way of release. The only way I have to express my emotions. Music is not about the money you make, the people you know etc. It's your contribution to the legacy that many have fought so hard and died, to maitain and keep alive. Ask yourself. What am I contributing to Hip Hop? To me, music is about making a difference. It breaks my heart, cause there are so many talented artists out there that will never be heard due to the corruption in the industry these days. However, know this. You may never go platinum or get 5 mics in the Source. Who cares. If you have a message to get across, you will be heard. The only person that can bring you down, is YOU.

I started writing music when I was 16. I was in those adolescent years where I rebelled, thought I knew it all. I defied my parents consistently. I ran away and got kicked out more times than I can remember. I went out on Halloween and stayed out all night and didn't tell my parents. My mother kicked me out. I ended up in a group home. It was cool but it wasn't like home. This was where I first started jotting some rhymes cause I was bored to death. After 3 weeks me and my parents reached some common ground.

So I got out of the group home and went back to live with my folks. I was good for awhile, but I decided to smoke weed on school property, and I got kicked out of school. That day was the first time my stepfather had ever hit me in my life. My mother was the worst though. So I ran away yet again. It's funny looking back at it. It always happened during the winter season. It's like, why couldn't I get in trouble over the summer and get kicked out. The weather is magnificent. No, it had to be the winter. Blistering cold, ice and snow. 20 degrees everyday. It was harsh. I remember the only thing I could do was keep going, cause if I stopped, I'd probably die from the cold. Keep going was all I could do. For a month I slept in a laundry room of an apartment complex, the heating systems were in there to warm it up, and the dryers were free so I turned them all on to keep warm. After awhile of being alone on the streets, I realized, I'm young, and I can't do this alone. So the next few weeks were spent in another group home. I got bored and decided to start writing more lyrics. I am not going to lie. I was garbage. Cheesy rhyme schemes. Just words. But I kept at it. Group homes are not as bad as people make them sound. It's just a bunch of kids in similar situations and backgrounds. And we all motivated each other.

Now I had gotten kicked out of school. I didn't know what I was going to do. But first things first. I went back to live with my parents and they had me on lock. Now the school I went to, had a night program. For the kids that got kicked out of school for fighting or probation etc. So I enrolled in that. Thats when I made a turn around in there. The students were fine. It's just their attitudes were like mine. Like life is set up for you to fail. No one will give you a chance or see the good in you. And you wonder why we lash out and get in trouble. But I saw their backgrounds. Hardcore, fighting, drug runs etc. I realized, that's not me. I got my mind right and started being responsible, getting "A's" and "B's" and I even helped tutor some of the students as well. Which meant I was down with everyone. It was confortable. I even did something better. Some people really needed the help and werent getting it. So people payed me to do their homework and help them on tests. I helped a good 20 people pass the 10th and 11th grade.

Now life at home was stiff iffy. I realized I and my parents didn't see eye to eye. So I figured, if the problem is me being around them, then I will remove myself from the equation. The night school was from 3:15pm to 6:45pm. So I got a full time job. I was off on Monday and Friday. My dad was off Tuesday and Wednesday and my mother was off Saturday and Sunday.

I worked from 7am to 2pm. Got ready for school. Got back and went back to work at 7pm and worked till 12am. It was great. My dad got up first. I get up when he leaves. And my mother gets up when I leave for work. And by the time I get home at night, they've already been asleep for quite some time. So I never really had anymore issues with them. As time went on, we grew closer as parents and children should. Bonds grew stronger and I thank God they did, after whats happened. Looking back on all this, it all comes together now, and makes sense.

Now back to the music. I have 2 alias' being C4 and Jigsaw. My rhymes are explosive, therefore C4 fits. Now life is about putting the pieces together, like a puzzle, hense the name Jigsaw.

Now thats just a little bit of a background on who I am, where I am coming from and what I have to offer. I hope you all enjoy my music and feel free to drop a line or opinion.

Peace.

C4

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